Making Wholesome Friends

Ministering: Pastor I.S James

Topic: Making Wholesome Friends

Text: Prov. 18:24, 17:17

Making friends isn’t that much of an issue; everyone has the capability to make friends.  As Christians, we have been commanded by the bible to choose our friends. Friends are the families we are allowed to choose for ourselves.

Everyone will hurt you; even your friends will hurt you (Prov. 27:6). But a true friend only hurts you by speaking the truth to your face.

“Making a million friends isn’t a miracle, the miracle is making a friend that’ll stand by you when millions are against you”. In choosing friends, you need to be honest with yourself. What are you looking for in a friend?

Honesty might not get you many friends, but it will get you the right kind of friends.

A person can’t have too many friends, but at the same time it’s not wise to have just one friend. Have a circle of friends.

When making friends, draw from these pools of people:

1.     Those older than you.

2.     Those younger than you.

3.     Your peers.

What qualities should you be looking out for when choosing friends?

1.     Look for those who have character traits that you desire & admire.

2.     Compatibility – How compatible are you with the person?

3.     Someone with same/similar career prospects.

4.     The mentors group.

5.     People who have a passion, zeal & burning desire for God

6.     Critics – people who’ll (annoyingly) challenge you to become better.

Qualities to avoid in people when choosing friends (1 Cor. 15:33)

1.     Avoid friendships that are seen as exclusive. A friendship that seeks to exclude others is a foundation of a cult.

2.     Avoid those who want to relate with you based on what you have.

3.     Avoid “one-chance” friendships – Friends should be able to recognize & appreciate your uniqueness.

4.     Avoid making friends with people whose lifestyles, words & conducts pull you away from God.

5.     Avoid making friends with people who want to make you lower your personal standards.

6.     Don’t make friends with anyone that makes you disrespect or be ashamed of your parents & family.

Traits To Avoid In Potential Friends:

1.     Avoid making friends with wicked (mischievous, crafty, crooked) people – 2 Sam 13:3, Luke 16:1

2.     Avoid the traits listed in Proverbs 6:16-17:

a.     Haughtiness

b.     Lying

c.      Murdering

d.     Plotting evil

e.     Eagerness to do wrong

f.      A false witness

g.     Sowing discord among brothers

3.     A merciless person – Prov. 12:10

4.     A lazy person – Prov. 12:27

5.     An unreliable person

6.     Someone who lacks self-control